Talking to Pregnant Women

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Talking to a Pregnant Woman
From the perspective of one in their 9th month
(this is me with one month left to go)

There’s something about being pregnant that elicits all kinds of conversations from both friends and strangers. Personally, I enjoy talking with others about being pregnant and welcome their friendliness. The first things everyone asks are:
-Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?  And
-Do you have names picked out?

Since we don’t get ultrasounds (due to their uncertain safety and since they’re usually not needed) we aren’t finding out the sex of the baby so I don’t usually have much to say as far as that goes. Also, since we aren’t telling what names we’re thinking of I don’t have much of a response about that either.

So, beyond these usual two questions, here are some thoughts I’ve had about how to communicate with a woman who’s pregnant:

Something I personally like to hear about is the birth experiences of others. It’s important though not to be too negative and to try to keep a positive attitude about labor and parenting as well. Pregnant moms need all the encouragement they can get. Labor is portrayed negatively enough in the media, the poor woman doesn’t need any more things to worry about. I’m afraid I haven’t always been good about this myself. I had a very hard first labor and have learned that I need to be cautious about sharing my experience with someone who’s pregnant. I firmly believe that birth can be an empowering time for a woman and that her body is fully capable of accomplishing the amazing feat of childbirth. Women need to hear more of that.

“You must be due anytime!” or “I think you’re going to go early.” These comments have the potential to put a false hope in the woman. I have been told this throughout the last month and a half! It made me feel like I would honestly go early (which I haven’t) which makes me feel like I’m “late” even before the due date comes! This has been pretty hard on me emotionally and made it hard to be patient. The truth is that most women go “late” and that’s completely normal. Technically someone isn’t even late until they’re 42 weeks! So, even if the woman seems ready to burst, you should probably keep that thought to yourself.

“You look absolutely radiant!” I’ve been told this about 3 times and I can’t tell you what it’s meant to me! Even though I love having a pregnant shape (not everyone loves that) I can still sometimes feel rather unattractive. It’s definitely more encouraging than “you’ve gotten HUGE!” If you see something beautiful about your pregnant friend, let her know. It will make her day! I know it made mine!

Finally, encourage those who are pregnant to REST. With a world that tells us, “Go, go go” and “do do do” it can be hard to feel free to take a break. Pregnancy takes an incredible toll on a woman’s body and she NEEDS to take it easy. If you have some time, offer to help her out. She can always say “no” but the thought will still be much appreciated. It will show her that someone notices her and realizes pregnancy (while a very happy time) can also be a very tiring time. 

Composting Tip

Does your indoor compost bucket start smelling stinky quickly? Here’s a tip I’ve found to be most useful. If you line your compost bucket with newspaper it helps to keep the odor down as well as making it easier to dump it all out once full. The newspaper can go in the compost along with kitchen scraps. Your compost pile shouldn’t smell much if done correctly. All you need is the proper balance between ‘browns’ and ‘greens.’ The newspaper in the bucket serves as a ‘brown’ in amongst all your ‘greens’ and that’s why it helps. :)

Baklava!

imageI tried my hand at making Baklava the other day. I’m planning on freezing it so we can get it out to celebrate after the baby is born. This is a sentimental thing for me since my parents made Baklava when I was born at home!
Amy Carroll has a great baklava tutorial that I used. I love how she adds grated orange peel! The only thing I did differently was to make it with pecans instead of walnuts & almonds (they were all out at the store). It did take longer than I thought because of all the layers and the fillo dough was a little tricky at first. After tasting it though I can say it was well worth the effort! It took a great deal of self-control not to eat more than one piece!

NOT Better Homes & Gardens

How many times do you open up a magazine and see a picture of a house as it is in day-to-day life? Everything is color co-coordinated with very few belongings actually pictured. There might be perfect, fresh fruit on the table and no dirty dishes in sight. Blogs can be this way too. With a blog, I can control what I choose to share which can sometimes give a wrong impression. It might appear that I have it all together; that I serve fabulously nutritious meals everyday, that I spend all day nurturing my daughter, or that everything I do is environmentally friendly. Some days go well and I’m able to keep things clean and keep a good balance to my day. But a lot of times my days are quite imperfect.

I live in a community that HIGHLY values perfectionism and orderliness so I feel the pressure of that. Thanks people like my dear friend, Jami I’ve been able to let go of that pressure so that it doesn’t control me. It’s so freeing! I think we all need a break from the pressure of having a spotless home at all times. WE know that our home isn’t always perfect and we may believe the lie that we are the only ones that live that way. So, to help sever that lie, here’s a refreshing look at my kitchen this morning. Cheers to being real! (Ok, now that I’ve uploaded the picture, you can’t tell how messy it is, but believe me, it IS messy!)
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On that note, I need to go fold the laundry that’s been sitting in the laundry basket for two days and put away the wilting produce! :)

Puppet Theatre

image Puppets are a lot of fun and inspire so much creativity! It’s fascinating how puppets seem to captivate the attentions of young children. For Emma’s 5th birthday this past week I decided to make her a puppet theatre. Amy Karol has written a fabulous book titled, “Bend the Rules Sewing” that I just love! Each step of her sewing projects are accompanied by simple diagrams that make sewing easier for visual people like myself. Thanks to her easy-to-understand instructions I was able to make it. Because I wasn’t feeling up to it the week before her birthday I ended up sewing it the day of her party. I didn’t finish it until 30 minutes after her party was supposed to start! Yikes! Thank God for my husband who graciously welcomed guests and served up the Haitian food that he had spent days preparing! What a sweetie!

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